Family constellation work was developed by Bert Hellinger, a German psychotherapist, in 1990s.

Family constellation work/therapy is a way to heal different kinds of blockages, challenges, problems and issues happening in a persons life that might have a root cause somewhere in their family system.

A family constellation can reveal known or hidden dynamics between the various members of a family which can then be brought forward for resolution and healing.

Barry Krost says, “In a Family Constellation, we discover how you are entangled with the painful experiences and events of your parents, grandparents and past generations. We setup a model of a family system, a constellation, that reveals what is damaged at the systemic level so we can work toward reconciling past conflicts, repairing broken relationships, restoring order and unburdening the client so they can live their life without the weight of the past.”

Client case – read here to know how the client was carrying his father’s beliefs around money and how situation changed after the constellation.

The Family Conscience

Like there is a personal conscience that each individual has, there is also something that Hellinger discovered which he called the family conscience. The family conscience demands that all members of a family system must be connected and remembered in a dignified way. This means that everybody must be included in their respective family system, be it a murderer or a rapist, a thief, a saint, a householder or a warrior.

If anyone in the system is excluded for any reason, then the descendants of that family system can become “entangled” with the excluded, especially with those who have been forgotten, rejected, or the ones who experienced a difficult fate(like partition, physical disability, mental health issues, war etc). These entanglements are usually unconscious, and they are the reasons behind the challenges that the clients bring in family constellation sessions.

Client case – a mother came to me regarding her 16 year old son, who was bed-wetting every day since a young age. When we addressed this issue in the constellation, it was revealed that the son was entangled with the mother’s abortion before marriage. The aborted child was forgotten and wasn’t given a place in the family. So the living child, the client’s son was unconsciously trying to include his sibling(the aborted child) through his symptoms.

Blind Love & Hidden Loyalty

The underlying reason behind these entanglements is the blind love and hidden loyalty of the descendants towards their ancestors. The descendants develop this blind love, and hidden loyalty to their ancestors so as to fulfill their need to belong. The descendants who get entangled usually do not feel safe, seen, loved and appreciated by their parents and other family members. So they develop these hidden loyalties to the traumas of the past, so as to belong and feel a part of the family system. The underlying unconscious beliefs that they hold are, “I do it for you”, “If you could not live, how can I?”, “If you could not enjoy success, how can I?”, “I will also exclude myself”, “I will hold your pain and anger” etc.

Client case – read here to understand how the client developed high sugar levels which indicated his deep longing for this parents. Two weeks after the constellation, his sugar levels came to normal and have been normal since.

In the family constellation sessions, our objective is to understand the root cause of these entanglements, and if possible release this entanglements/ loyalties and restore the order and balance to the family system. The sessions help the clients expand their perspective and to understand that they do not have to unconsciously be loyal to their parents or ancestors. The sessions support the clients to take in a new image of their family system and to believe that they belong. This work helps the clients to properly honour their parents, their ancestors as well as the past events.

This work can help heal the deepest wounds.

Facilitation Method

Family Constellations can be done in-person or online, many times with a group of people called representatives. In some cases it can be done one-to-one with the client as well. The representatives play the roles of different family members of the client and bring to light the underlying dynamics of that family. Movement and expression in the constellation is an indication of shifts, changes and healing happening for the client.

The representatives tap into The Knowing Field(also known as the matrix, akashic records or the collective unconscious). The knowing field is a conscious energetic field, which contains information across time and space. In the constellation, the representatives step into this field to experience the feelings and sensations that mirror those of the real family members they represent and everyone and everything to which we are connected. 

Representatives tap into the energy of the role they are assigned and they bring information across time and space to the present moment. Not just the client but even the representatives feel shifts in their own lives with this work. 

Family Constellation Work, in my perspective, is a most beautiful form of community work and healing together. It is also a way of paying it forward.

A group of strangers come together to help and support another person’s healing and growth. When a constellation is set up for a client, it not just heals the client and her family but also each and every person who plays a role in the constellation and everyone returns home feeling some kind of shift, healing or greater awareness.

How beautiful is that! This work brings about collective healing and that is why I love it!

If you wish to represent in these sessions, please contact me privately.