“I sometimes get very angry and resentful towards them that I start getting skin issues.”

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“I sometimes get very angry and resentful towards them that I start getting skin issues.”

Komal(name changed), aged 48, complained of severe skin allergy which occurs often when she is stressed, worried, irritated and trying to be in control. In January 2022, she wanted to understand the deeper reason behind it so we decided to do trans-generational healing through systemic constellation therapy.

In the session, four generations of her mother’s lineage arrived in the field. The story of the oldest female ancestor(almost 7 generations before) is what explained the client’s severe skin allergy. The oldest female ancestor was in a disharmonious relationship with her husband and seemed to have suffered a lot. Her husband was highly dominating and she became the victim of his behavior and the society at that time. What began here is what was passed down to the future generations. The suppression of this female ancestor and her inability to speak out and find support became an energy that was transferred to the younger generations and this energy manifested in different ways. 

This is what the granddaughter of this female ancestor expressed to her in the field, “Nani, I have seen you suffer so much and my entire life I thought this is going to be my story. I was so scared that I didn’t want to be a woman. I never wanted to be a woman in my life. Being a woman, I’ll be weak so I have to be a man. A man is a powerful person. So I took on the role and responsibilities of a man and I just forgot my feminine side.”

This is the wound that passed down to the younger generations and many women of this lineage seem to have carried this burden in different ways. The women in younger generations felt like a victim, and one or more of the following – feeling resentful towards their father or husband or both or men in general, did not accept their feminine side, took the responsibilities to fulfill a man’s role, aimed for perfection, felt neglected by their mother, had conflicted marriages, their perception of men was warped, difficulty in resting and accepting help, being in control all the time, suppressed emotions, taking the place of their father in the family(parentification) and feeling resentful while doing all this. Mother wound was also something that every daughter carried.

Divine masculine and feminine energies were invoked to work with each generation. Expression, movement and awareness came in and everyone felt relieved, heard, seen and unburdened.

All that the skin allergy wanted from the client was to be seen and heard. It was her feminine energy, the shakti within her that wanted acceptance and acknowledgment. It was telling her to let go of control, accept what is, accept help from others and not to underestimate the power of rest. However all this was obscured and rejected by the wounded masculine ego(which originated from the ancestors and was carried by her too). Skin is the largest sensory organ we have and any issues with the skin usually indicate suppressed energy of some form. It could be anger, guilt, love, self-acceptance, irritation etc. Here, the client’s irritation with her family members and this deep rooted ancestral energy made it impossible for her to keep everything inside. As she could not express it in any other way, her skin expressed it for her and finally she had to take notice.

This session is also an example of how women have suffered through centuries, across cultures and their suffering ripples down through generations creating havoc and disharmony in the world. When a woman is not given her rightful place, respect and honor in the society, her energy becomes toxic for everyone around her as well as herself. Neither is she happy nor the people around her. As she suffers, so do many around her.

In addition to the ancestral pattern, the conflict between the clients’ parents and her relationship to her father also seems to be an important factor in her suffering and healing. These are areas where the client is continuing her inner work, taking responsibility for herself and setting healthy boundaries. Healing is a journey and there are many many layers to it. It can be as much about ancestral patterns as it is about individual responsibility. When we do our inner work, we must work at different layers and aspects. And we must remember that it takes time and patience.

Post session – Now, almost 6 months after the session, the skin allergy has not recurred. The client is committed to her healing. She is continuing her inner work with more awareness and acceptance. And asking for and getting support from a very helpful 12-step program. She also informs me that after the session, she has added new practices to her routine which have helped her, like taking aloe juice and other natural products, taking alkaline water everyday, reducing the use of chemicals, doing ho’oponopono and serenity prayer. And she also underwent a gall bladder operation in April, which although initially was very scary for her but now she understands that the acidity caused by the gall bladder stones was affecting her skin so in a way the operation has been beneficial. 

This is healing at the subconscious as well as the conscious level. Along with the therapy sessions, when we take conscious actions towards our physical, mental and emotional well-being, the effects are multifold. Most importantly, we are taking responsibility and taking charge of our own healing.

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